Are You A Lonely Single Mom?: Finding A Single Mom Community Can Change That.

divorce is freedom

Did you stumble upon this post because you are a lonely single mom? Loneliness can sometimes plague single moms. Single parenting comes with a unique set of challenges that only other single parents understand. That is why finding a single mom community is so important to combat the feeling of being a lonely single mom.

How I Became A Lonely Single Mom

Novella was only 3 months old when I discovered my husband was having an affair. I was shattered, devastated beyond belief, and lost. I sat in my big house full of meaningless stuff and through the tears, tried to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do.

With bills piling up, I knew I couldn’t spend one more night in our house. It was too painful. It was a huge risk considering our house was not sold yet but the thought of spending one more night in the only home my husband and I had ever owned together was too much to bear. I needed support, familiarity, and a fresh start.

In less than a week, the girls and I moved out of our 2600 sqft home into an 800 sq ft condo back in our old neighborhood. It was a huge relief. The girls were back in their old school, back by our good friends, and for a short time, things were looking up.

However, in the aftermath of everything, I struggled to pull myself out of bed each and every day. Getting the girls to school on time was a struggle because depression crippled me. Financially, I was drowning trying to keep up with my huge mortgage bill on my own and my new monthly rent plus all the other bills typical of households in the United States.

divorce is freedom
Lost in thought in Ruidoso, New Mexico

Losing Hope Every Day

The girls struggled with losing a brother and sister overnight, switching schools in the middle of the year, and changing homes. Mia’s teacher mentioned the possibility of needing to hold her back a year if she couldn’t pass the end of the year STAAR test. I knew my girls just needed time to heal but that didn’t matter to the Texas public school system. What mattered was them passing their state exams. That is it.

Cosleeping helped the girls and I rebuild our bond after I left my then husband.

For my oldest daughter Alaya’s birthday, we decided to go to Great Wolf Lodge near Dallas, Texas. It was a lot cheaper to go during the week than it was to go during the weekend so I pulled the girls out of school and we went on a road trip. We had an absolute blast. We couldn’t wait to travel again but we put it on hold so the girls wouldn’t miss more school days.

The Travel Bug Bites Again

My middle child, Mia, struggled with sickness since we moved into the condo. I took her to the doctor repeatedly but they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her. She just felt sick and both girls suffered from headaches. I had a suspicion that it was due to the cigarette smoke that often filled their bedroom due to the neighbor’s addiction.

Valentine’s day was coming up and I found myself searching for places on Airbnb. Out of nowhere, I hit book and booked us a yurt near the beach in Port Aransas. Once again, it was an absolutely amazing experience. You can book this Airbnb through this link.

Trippin' Momma
Port Aransas Airbnb- Trippin’ Momma

Something about traveling was freeing. There is something about not waking up to an alarm, not worrying about a cheating husband, and not worrying about homework that is so unbelievably freeing.

Yet, after returning home from this latest beach adventure, the girls went back to school, and I went back to my bed struggling to get through each day once again. This went on for another week before I decided enough was enough.

I picked the girls up from school and asked them how they would feel about being homeschooled so we could travel full-time. Alaya was ecstatic. Mia hesitated for a bit but both agreed with my crazy plan.

In less than a month, we sold and donated most of our possessions and ended our lease on our condo. It was a huge leap of faith but one I am thankful I took every single day.

lonely single mom
Mia being a goofball at one of our first Airbnb stays in Austin, TX.

Finding A Single Mom Community

The first year of travel I struggled with being a lonely single mom. Sometimes, my anxiety got the best of me on our travels and I struggled to connect with others. Travel didn’t initially change this for me.

Don’t get me wrong. Our first year of full-time travel was absolutely life-changing. It was so freeing not being weighed down by material possessions. It was so freeing being able to go wherever we wanted with no set plans in place.

That first year of travel we visited 12 states and 2 countries before visiting and falling in love with Mexico. This was a game changer for the girls and me!

Finally, we’d found a community we fit in.
Finally, we could start truly healing.
Finally, we felt like we had found “home”.

This all happened in January 2018 which was a little over a year since I first left my then husband and only about four months after my divorce was finalized.

In Mexico, the daily stress I felt while trying to conform to what I was told my life should look like is non-existent. The girls and I no longer live by any schedule, and I am able to be a more present mom. Moving abroad as a single mom made single mom life so much easier.

lonely single mom
Novie exploring the streets of Mexico

Finding a single mom community has been such a lifesaver. Our very first week in Guanajuato City, Mexico, the girls and I got super sick.

It was probably the sickest we had ever been. Luckily, there were two single moms that I had only known for a few days that took care of us during that time.

I was so thankful.

This was my first experience with being a part of a single mom community.

Being a single mom can be super scary at times. Being a single mom living abroad can be even scarier if you are not a part of a community.

You are navigating a new culture and new language on top of your single mom role.

I truly believe that finding a single mom community will make single mom life much easier

………………

It has been over a year since I originally wrote this post. We have gone on many more adventures since then including a 6-month stint in Europe before finding our way back to Mexico.

Almost a year later, and I have found another single mom community in the city of Merida. What makes living abroad and travel so amazing is the people you meet along the journey.

I love being a part of a single mom community. In fact, I started my group Single Moms DO Travel on Facebook to build a community for moms to connect with and draw inspiration and tips from.

If you are a single mom, join our community of high vibe women who are actively creating their dream lives. Let us show you that a life of struggle and loneliness doesn’t have to be the norm. We are changing that typical single mom narrative.

 

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